May Contain Facts

We don't always enjoy Steve Braunias' writings. But he has dipped his pen in acid, and come up with an absolute belter. Those on the receiving end of the acid-tipped pen are none other than Mark and Amanda Hotchin, who are doing it tough in Hawaii just at the moment. Here's a sample to whet your appetite:

Posing as an international arms dealer with no criminal convictions, no scruples and no class, May Contain Facts gained intimate access this week to the Hotchin holiday home in Honolulu.

Mark Hotchin and his wife, Amanda, were lazing poolside when May Contain Facts walked past their gate, and paused to light a cigar by setting fire to $100 notes.

"Come in and sit a while, friend," cried Hotchin.

It was a beautiful morning. A light breeze teased the tops of the palm trees in their garden. Sunlight jewelled the surface of the pool. A servant was crouched on his hands and knees for Hotchin to use his back as a footstool. There was a bottle of champagne in an icebucket, fresh lobster in a chilly bin, and a string quartet waiting to announce lunch.

"We're under siege," said Hotchin.

He explained that the New Zealand media had turned their holiday into a living hell. He said a young reporter from a Sunday paper had flown to Hawaii and tracked them down. "I thought he said he was the paper boy," said Amanda.

She told him to go away but only after telling him that she and her husband didn't have to justify to anyone how they spent their money. "He asked me a question," she said. "So underhand. The media will stop at nothing."

Mark Hotchin said: "We're being crucified simply because my finance company Hanover left 16,000 mostly elderly, frail and infirm New Zealand investors in the lurch. But they'll get over it.

"It's us who're the victims. The $91 million in dividends we took out of Hanover will only go so far. The media attacks - we're being turned into pariahs! We can't show our face in Auckland.

This is classic stuff; it fair drips with sarcasm. It makes us wonder now whether Mike Hosking was trying a bit of reverse psychology earlier in the week with his defence of Hotchin; whether he was secretly hoping that someone would be so outraged as to ramp up the ante. If that was his intention, he succeeded, and more! If not, what the heck; in our always-humble opinion, Hotchin is now reaping what he sowed.

Take a few minutes out, make yourself a cuppa, and read Braunias' piece; you'll be glad that you did!