Outrageous Labour

Only Jane Clifton could pull this one off. Her column in this week's Listener makes the magazine worth buying, even if you read nothing else. It's brilliant, topical satire. Unfortunately, it's also not online, so to share a few titbits with you, we have to dio it the old-fashioned way, and given that we are two-fingered typists at best, it's been a bit laborious.

So, please excuse any typos, and enjoy! She begins:

Apparently the Americans have made a pig's ear of copying our favourite local drama, Outrageous Fortune - but here at home, the Labour Party is doing a creditable imitation of the vintage first series. This is a dysfunctional Westie family caper at its most entertaining. Poor old Phil Goff is doing his best Ceryl West matriarch turn to corral his troops into some semblance of respectability (although he must realise it's an act you can never pull off unless you secretly know you're wearing a Hoochie Mama leopard-skin thong and Wonderbra under your clothing.

If the thought of Phil Goff in a leoprad-skin thong and bra isn't TOO off-putting, we'd recommend that you keep reading, because Clifton has some characterisation gems tucked away - read on:

Shane and Chris have been getting up to no good, doing it incompetently, failing to get away with it and sulking in the best tradition of Van and Munter; David, Charles and Clayton are having delusions of grandeur to rival Pascalle's; Trevor in Parliament is behaving like God's avenging solicitor (Jethro); and Pete is just like old grandpa brooding on his obsessions out the back in the caravan.

Finally, in the role of the fallen patriarch Wolf, the malign guardian angel who is unavoidably detained afar, Helen is always ready with a helpful text or a heart-to-heart from New York whenever anything goes wrong.

This is without a doubt some of the best satire that we have read in a long time. But even better than that, every characterisation that Clifton has attempted is right on the money. We especially like the portrayal of Pete Hodgson as obsessional; he actually wrote a letter to The Listener last week, trying to get traction on John Key's blind trusts.

Jane Clifton's political columns almost always make good reading, but she has absolutely excelled herself this time around. Get yourself a Listener this week; the $4.00 investment is money well spent' and no, we're not being paid to say that!