Love's Labour lost

In the week that brought us Valentine's Day, Brian Edwards is lamenting his bad luck in love; he blogs:

David Shearer shuns Labour Luvvie. I spotted this intriguing headline in this morning’s Herald. What could it mean? Who was ‘Labour luvvie’ and why had David Shearer shunned him or her: I just had to read on:

‘David Shearer needs media help and he’s getting it – but not from former Labour love Brian Edwards.

‘Edwards was paid to media-train Helen Clark and her ministers, and even got the SOS call from Phil Goff during the election after a couple of years in the wilderness.

‘However, he’s been left out in the cold by the dynamic new Labour leader and his chief of staff, Stuart Nash. Sources tell me Sean Plunket was considered for media advice, but Nash told The Diary there will be “no external media training”.’

OMG, imagine my consternation! I was ‘Labour Luvvie’. I am ‘Labour luvvie’. And I have been ‘shunned’ by David Shearer – ‘shunned’ by a man I didn’t even know I was dating. ‘Left out in the cold’ by the ‘dynamic new Labour leader’ and his chief of staff, Stuart Nash.

Can you understand the humiliation? To be ‘left out in the cold’ by someone you spoke to once outside a cafe in Herne Bay, without even the chance to mail a billet doux or plight your troth.

And the ultimate insult – to learn that he’s getting what he needs, but not from you!

Poor Brian; fancy learning that you've been spurned by the partner party you've devoted a life to; it's just too sad for words.

But then the penny drops, as Edwards discovers the source of this absolutely stunning revelation; read on:

Could this all really be true? Of course, it was in the Herald. And the writer was not just some anonymous hack, but tabloid intellectual and rapier wit Rachel Glucina whom I’ve long since forgiven for calling me ‘irrelevant’.

Still, I refuse to give up hope. Someone else is bound to come along yearning for a luvvie. I may not even have long to wait.

Yes Dear Readers; Rachel Glucina herself has been elevated from the dross of the Herald on Sunday's gossip column to the mainstream, and now she's breaking HUGE stories like this one like a REAL journalist!

We really feel for Brian Edwards. No really; we do! To be dumped by the party he'd given heart and soul to is bad enough, but to hear it from Rachel Glucina; goodness; it's hard to imagine anything that would be more traumatic that that!

And in the meantime we're wondering this; just who from within Labour is poviding media training to David Shearer? David Cunliffe perhaps?