David "Happy Feet" Farrar writes a weekly column in the Herald. And the one he's produced today is an absolute cracker; under the headline Act - dead 4 May 2012, aged 18 Happy Feet opines:
Trauma surgeons at Wellington Political Hospital announced today that the ACT Party was judged clinically dead after succumbing to a grievous assault from Kim Dotcom.
Surgeons battled all night to save the political party, but the accumulated trauma from years of abuse meant that the patient was already in critical condition when Dotcom fell on it, crushing the remaining life out of the teenage political party.
We'll let the former Emperor Penguin of the Blogosphere (ripped from his throne by a rampant Whale!) tell the rest of the sordid tale. But it's well worth a read if you have a few spare moments, and need a good chuckle.