The Secret Diary of...

Mondays are now a day to look forward to, thanks to Steve Brauias' Secret Diary series. And he doesn't disappoint today; here's a teaser:

MONDAY

I was walking along the street minding my own business when I realised the private and public grief about the deaths of New Zealand defence personnel in Afghanistan was totally misguided, so I took out my portable ladder, climbed to the top, and shouted down from a great height, "You're all idiots and you make me sick!"

Well, that set the cat among the pigeons! They scurried this way and that, shaken to the very core, although they didn't actually have much core. They were as dumb as beasts. They lacked soul, and feeling and heart.

They also lacked moral compass. Fortunately for them, I was able to take a reading, and set everyone on the right track.

I called down that we had no business in Afghanistan, and that our military actions there were deeply suspect.

No-one seemed to notice those comments, so I added that we shouldn't pay any respect to the fallen New Zealanders, who were cold-hearted killers, and had died not through any fault of the Taleban, but as a result of their own flawed choices.

The ladder began to shake.

TUESDAY

My comments have brought out the worst in ordinary New Zealanders, and revealed them as savages, lunatics and zealots.

They're like a travelling lynch mob. Last week, they mobilised against Stewart Murray Wilson. Right now, it's my turn. It'll be someone else's by the end of the week. 

This is another wonderful piece of acid-tongued social commentary from Braunias, but as always, there's a twist. But you'll just have to follow the link and find it for yourself...