If you want someone to argue against former Labour MP John Tamihere making it back into Parliament, look elsewhere.
For if Planet Key has its own idylls in rolling greens and toilet-free climes, on Planet Media, utopia would be Tau Henare as the Speaker and John Tamihere back on the Labour benches.
What a cornucopia of quotable delights would be on offer.
Other less likely souls have made political comebacks, albeit usually ill-fated. John Banks is the most recent and before that was Roger Douglas. Less dramatically, it is relatively common for MPs to be voted out and then return - although the absence is usually one term rather than three.
Annette King, Trevor Mallard, Phil Goff all had voter-enforced sabbaticals in the 1990s. Indeed, several MPs cast out in 2011 are also hoping to return in 2014, including Carmel Sepuloni and Stuart Nash.
It is true Tamihere is not the bright-faced beacon of promise that he was when he first stood for Labour in 1999 and just three years later was appointed to the Cabinet.
These days, it can be hard to see the actual pages through the messy blots on his copybook. As well as that "front bum" interview with Investigate's Ian Wishart, there was the Waipareira Trust golden handshake and allegations and investigations into that trust, on which Tamihere was cleared.
There were the abandoned cats and the historic drink-driving convictions.
But Tamihere is like a well-mixed mojito: both sweet and sour. At 53, he is still young enough to pull off a phoenix rising. Balancing out the controversy, it has to be acknowledged he has managed to turn the Waipareira Trust into an established and trusted social services force in West Auckland.
He has inhabited a place all too rarely visited by politicians: the real world.
Normally, that hands-on experience in putting government policy into practice at a grassroots level would make him a valuable asset for Labour, which too often gets criticism for selecting its candidates from academia, unions or political offices.
There is another problem for Labour which he could help rectify - the erosion of the Maori caucus. Parekura Horomia, Shane Jones and Nanaia Mahuta have all mumbled about futures outside politics. Such an exodus would leave the Maori caucus short on numbers, and experience. Former MP Kelvin Davis is a great hope but is uncertain whether he wants to return to Parliament. Tamihere's return could help plug a gap.
However, there is the issue of Carmel Sepuloni, who in 2011 came within nine votes of toppling Paula Bennett out of the Waitakere electorate Tamihere now covets. Many believe she should be given another chance.
Elsewhere in the Herald however, it seems that John Tamihere is having a problem even getting accepted as a member of the New Zealand Labour Party, let alone in his quest to once again become a Labour Party MP; check this out:
John Tamihere will have to wait until November to find out if the Labour Party will take him back as a member - and it could depend on whether others in the party raise objections.
Mr Tamihere confirmed he had applied online to become a member again and had sent a note to the party informing it of this.
Party secretary Tim Barnett said Mr Tamihere would be subject to more scrutiny than usual because of his high public profile.
It was "unusual but not unheard of" for membership to be refused.
The party's leading council would have to decide if there were any formal objections to Mr Tamihere rejoining. None had yet been received.
"From my point of view, I would just look at the record of membership in the past and anything on things he might have allegedly said or done that might have brought the party into disrepute."
Asked whether Mr Tamihere's criticism of Labour on the talkback radio show he hosted could count against him, Mr Barnett said it could be looked at if someone raised a specific concern.
"But I don't think it would get down to a lengthy examination of everything he's said and done in the last few years."
Other than the prohibition on membership of another political party, there were no specific criteria in the constitution to reject a membership application.
The council would seek input from Mr Tamihere's local electorate - Waitakere - and a final decision would be made at the party's New Zealand Council meeting at the end of November.
To stand for the party in an election, a candidate has to have been a party member for at least one year.
Reading between the lines, it seems as though the New Zealand Labour Party is doing everything it can to prevent John Tamihere from ever again becoming an MP. We're guessing that by deferring a decision on his party membership until November then conducting candidate selection in Waitakere by no later than October 2013, they would prevent him from being eligible to stand against Carmel Sepuloni for the Waitakere nomination.
At a time when the Labour Party's membership nationwide is as low as it has ever been, you'd think that the party would welcome Tamihere's application to join with open arms, as we are sure that he will bring others with him.
But the question we have for John Tamihere is this; why bother? Labour is making it clear that it will do everything that it can to stifle him. At the same time, New Zealand First will need a new leader in the not-too-distant future, as will the Maori Party. What is to stop JT transferring his loyalty in that direction?
And failing all of that, there's always the creative solution that we suggested last week; that Tamihere, Damien O'Connor, Shane Jones and others of like mind tell Labour where to stick their obfuscation and petty politicking, and head out into the world to form the Waitakere Man Party, appealing to Labour's historical blue-collar support base.
John Tamihere may indeed have a future in politics. But somehow, we doubt that it is in the Labour Party.